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(Guest Post by Stacey Canfield, Founder of Blended Beauty)
As a young child, I always knew in my heart that I would adopt. Looking back now it is hard to believe that as a child I knew this. But I think it was fate, and that my life was organized in such a way that the desire would simply grow.
I was raised by my mother in what I would now call ‘the ghetto’. But at that time it was just home and it was all I knew, so it was normal life. It was a very difficult life. This I certainly knew.
Every day was a struggle and I really didn’t know what each day would bring and if I would even eat. But somehow I found happiness in each day. I remember whenever I would hear Michael Jackson’s song “Man in The Mirror”, I wondered when and if anyone would ever actually SEE me and possibly do something, anything to change the life I was living. Periodically a kind person would make a small difference. I had a wonderful Big Sister from the Big Sister’s Association who showed me what normalcy was. This helped me strive to create my own normalcy once I was old enough. But I knew there would always be children in the world who were finding their own way through poverty and neglect. I knew that I would never completely heal if I didn’t help a small child heal, and essentially save them from having to find their way alone. A chance to completely alter and rewrite a child’s future, giving them every possible opportunity to become what their greatest potential would allow. What a wonderful and healing opportunity, for us both.
When I realized that I had actually escaped the ghetto, and stopped the cycle for my own children, for a long time I was so incredibly grateful, I just wasn’t sure why it was ME who escaped. I was married with children, and running Blended Beauty. I was incredibly busy, but something wasn’t right. Both my husband and I started to have a feeling that someone was missing. We seemed to have a complete family but fate was calling. Someone really was missing.
Over the Christmas holidays of 2007 we discussed adoption with the kids and the entire family was so excited and welcoming of another child. We applied right away. Anyone who has adopted knows that once you make the decision, your emotions cause everything to feel like an emergency and everything needs to happen RIGHT NOW. Well 2 years later... we found our little girl on a website for kids who no one wanted. Unadoptable kids. She only lived 30 minutes away from us. And she looked just like me...
I was completely blind to the pages of health issues they gave us. Our adoption worker told me to ask her doctors what her life expectancy was. None of it mattered. I knew she would be fine if she was where she needed to be. She was born to a homeless mother. And later we would realize she had been unintentionally neglected at the foster home. She also has mild cerebral palsy just like my brother. There were so many things in the past that had prepared me to understand her and what she needed. For the two of us it is a complete spiritual connection. For my husband and our kids, it is exciting, loving and overall pretty goofy! I think it’s a perfect combination....
When we were driving the 30 minutes to pick her up on April 25th 2011, I could hardly speak. Both cheeks soaked with tears. And then I was given the one sign I needed to know I was strong enough for both of us. A few blocks from the foster home, in-between the pop songs, Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” came on the radio. I suddenly knew that everything I’d been through and suffered through was to give me the strength and motivation that I needed to rewrite her life.
We were told she may never walk, or grow much, she would need some sort of sleep therapy, and so many more issues. Well 8 months later she is running and jumping, and has chubby cheeks, sleeps through every night, and is bright eyed and happy in the day. And my biological kids argue over who gets to hug her first, each morning and each night at bed time. I’ve asked them if they can remember what it was like before she came. They try to remember but all they say is they would never hear little footsteps running across the floor when they play video games in the basement (with a giggle). She can do no wrong in their eyes.
That feeling that someone is missing, is no longer. We found her!
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A graduate of Biotechnology at Seneca College, Stacey had always had hair issues since childhood, like so many other biracial and black women and girls. Dealing with her hair was a daily struggle and her self confidence dwindled. Most products found on shelves were either for straight hair or based on petroleum jelly and mineral oil. Two very old and out dated ingredients for afro type hair. Stacey knew there had to be a better way to deal with curly hair, and keep it natural and beautiful.
After years of mixing different products to achieve a healthy natural look, she decided it was time to use her knowledge and create real and reliable products specifically for her type 3 textured hair. After many months of research and development, Blended Beauty was started with just 5 products based on botanical ingredients and natural conditioners. Later the line expanded to 23 products for adults and kids, and all curl types from waves to curls to kinks!
Stacey personally knows there is much more to hair than just beauty. When a child or a woman feels comfortable under the locs they grow, their mind is freed from the burden of insecurity and left open to focus on other important things in life. Beautiful hair can be a freeing experience!
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